Feeling displaced or lonely, an opportunity to be happy?
Feeling displaced is not a nice feeling. It comes with feeling lonely, isolated, like a stranger, missing home, maybe even missing meaning in one’s life.
Quite far away from feeling happy…
So is feeling displaced really an opportunity to be happy?
Well, it actually is!
Why is that? Because when we are not happy, we usually try to find solutions and we are ready to open to new perspectives, to reflect on how we are doing which is the golden route to finding who we are, what truly makes us happy and how to get there.
So, are you feeling displaced or lonely? If you are, here are a few steps I suggest you could take:
1. First you need to take stock of how you are feeling and why in order to gain awareness of where you need help.
- To do so, start by writing a list of the things that you are not satisfied with in your life.
- For each bullet point, write how does this make you feel.
For example, you could write: “I don’t have enough friends; this makes me feel lonely.”
Or “It’s hard to not have a job anymore. I miss the challenges, the working with a team etc.; this makes me feel like I am not important, worthless because my contribution to society is not valued”
2. Then you need to look at what you can do and why you don’t do it.
- Return to your list of what you are dissatisfied with and write beside each item what you could do to sort it out.
- And for each solution, write down why you are not doing it.
For example, next to “I don’t have enough friends”, you could write solutions like “Go out to events, start going to the gym or some fun class but I don’t do it because I am too busy, I don’t speak the language well enough -which means the class for you would be a language class!-, I fear meeting people I don’t know or looking like a fool etc.”
Or “I could join a charity, or list regularly how I actually contribute greatly to my family to lift my spirits but I don’t do it because I don’t know who to ask, I fear the unknown, I am too busy, I usually don’t take time to do something for myself” etc.
3. You need to find the drive to change.
On another piece of paper, write down how you would like your life to be in your currant situation, without the things that you are dissatisfied with. Take your time to describe how you would feel in this improved life. What would your social life look, your relationships, your daily activities? What would be the meaningful things in your life? How would you be recognised for your contribution?
4. It’s time to decide, plan and act!
- Now take a deep breath, eyes closed. When you exhale open your eyes and see what is the first baby step that comes to you and that you now feel ready to do to help yourself.
- Take your diary and plan for you to do it or organise it in the coming days –no more than in 3 days!
You are on a good start! Good luck!
If you feel you would like to discuss with me your own situation, you can book a free 20 minutes chat with me so we can discuss on https://www.maudbr.com/free-consult. I have a passion for assisting people to build a balanced, fulfilling and truly happy life. I would welcome the opportunity to do this for you :-)
Photo credit: harutmovsisyan