I am excited to introduce you to my new series on how to improve your relationships.
In several series of 10 tips, spanning over the next few weeks and months, I will cover a broad range of subjects on how to improve your relationships with yourself, your loved ones, your body, your work, money etc...
10 Tips on how to improve your relationship with yourself
Episode 1: Tips 1 and 2!
Tip 1: I shall be open to what I really feel
The first step to improve your relationship with yourself is to simply open honestly to what is happening inside yourself. This means stopping telling yourself what is happening but rather open and let your feelings talk without any interpretation. This requires to be anchored in your aspiration to know the truth about yourself and to be compassionate rather than judgemental on yourself.
Here is an example: Julie is feeling upset because her boss didn’t value enough the enormous amount of work she put in her last project. Today, she is grumpy and frustrated. She can tell herself “this company sucks anyway” or “it’s the end of the week and I am just exhausted; things will be better next week”.
Or she can sit back in her chair, breathe deeply 3 times and open to how she feels under-valued and acknowledge it hurts.
She can then tell herself “I hear you, you hurt and it’s fair enough. Me, I value you. I know you have done a good job. I hug you. Let’s stay like this for a full minute so you can feel my hug (yes, 60 seconds long!). I know you didn’t get what you deserve, and I know life is unfair like this sometimes, but me I value you.
I am wondering how you would feel about telling your boss “I enjoyed this project, I gave it all I had. I know you did too and it is important for me we recognise the value of this commitment members of the team showed. Would you agree with me and would you know how we can do it?”
And if her boss is not in a space to have this conversation, maybe Julie can just celebrate and decide to treat herself for her effort, like having a massage tonight.
Suddenly, the world is not against Julie anymore. She feels valued by the most important person for her –herself! She is looking forward to this massage and her day feels lighter.
She has improved her relationship with herself.
Tip 2: I shall smile at myself…
Are you ready to start a new habit? Be prepared, it is very powerful to improve your relationship with yourself!
Each time you enter in a lift with a mirror (and you may prefer to be alone, at least to start with), look at yourself and smile consciously at yourself in the mirror while thinking “I see you, I welcome you, I love you for who you are”.
I am trying this habit myself and I was surprised to discover what sort of smile such thoughts would bring up… It is not a big smile, it is a gentle and humble smile. It is the most beautiful smile we can give to ourselves!
If you would like to discuss with me your own relationship with yourself, please feel free to contact me for a free 20 minutes chat. I would love to hear from you!